I am going to be brutally honest, and tell you that I am only writing right now because I feel like I must in order to be true to this process. In truth, I am bone tired and when I start rolling the concept of love around my brain, I come up blank..........................................................................................
I guess that is really why I am writing then................................................................................................
I don't want to be the woman who gave up on my blog... who gave up on my goal... who gave up on living a life that enriches others with love, and is enriched by love....
My friendly Curves lady called me today to say "HI" which I really know means, "You haven't been to our facility in 3 months and we're checking up on you!!!". It is a good thing that there is no blog lady to call me... because I don't want that phone call. So, here I am. Good thing that I can blog buck naked (not really because I am too tired to get out of my lazy chair) from the comfort of my laptop... because there is no way that I am going to squeeze into exercise clothes and sneakers right now.
I wish I could say that I feel more loving or more loved right now, but I am just not 100% sure that is true. I giggled at a derogatory comment a while ago just because I was too tired to object to the person on the other end of my phone.... I've been so busy that I haven't taken any time for random acts of kindness.... I've made choices that served people less important than my family or myself, at the expense of my family and myself....I've had more moments than I wanted where I was abrupt, harsh, impatient or careless.
Awareness is, of itself, an important part of the process.
Then, on the other hand, maybe I do feel more loving and loved just by continuing my commitment to this journey, and reaching out to you out there in bloggerworld.
As my son would say, "Aloha"... which I understand means hello and goodbye at the same time....
Hello fellow community of love gardeners....
Goodbye fatigue, apathy and feeling alone....
Aloha,
Emily
Wednesday, 17 August 2011
Monday, 8 August 2011
August 8
So today's thought is about love and gratitude. I was away at a business conference in Montreal this past weekend and was reminded that love and gratitude seem to be inextricably linked for me. It is easy for the flame of love to flicker and fade as the people and things that you love become routine, mundane, or all-too familiar... but gratitude wields the power to fan the flame of love and re-ignite passions that grew weak. My new challenge for myself? To think of 10 things that I am grateful for at the beginning and end of each day....
For tonight:
1. The income, choices, and freedom that my direct-selling business has afforded in my life.
2. My children who love and hug me everyday, no matter how I am feeling.
3. The love, faithfulness and support of my husband.
4. The comfort of my home.
5. The fullness of my cupboards.
6. The laughter I share with friends.
7. The beauty of the world.
8. The economic and political stability of my country.
9. My memories.
10. The courage that helps me to key in these words.
11. God who made it all possible and watches over me, waiting to bless me at every opportunity he can....
For tonight:
1. The income, choices, and freedom that my direct-selling business has afforded in my life.
2. My children who love and hug me everyday, no matter how I am feeling.
3. The love, faithfulness and support of my husband.
4. The comfort of my home.
5. The fullness of my cupboards.
6. The laughter I share with friends.
7. The beauty of the world.
8. The economic and political stability of my country.
9. My memories.
10. The courage that helps me to key in these words.
11. God who made it all possible and watches over me, waiting to bless me at every opportunity he can....
Friday, 29 July 2011
July 29
I haven't blogged in a while because I've been unplugged a lot lately... in many ways. We bought a trailer a few weeks ago and have spent almost half our time since in it.... relaxing!! Who knew that relaxing was so important. I am a serious TYPE A get things done and live to my full potential sort of character, so rest and relaxation don't often rate high on my list of priorities... but I do value fun and family.
Looking at my 5 and almost 4 year year old children recently made me realize that those priorities needed to jump up higher on my list of things to do, and so the trailer entered our lives. I have honestly had the two happiest moments that I can recall in recently history in the past two weeks.... Once I was just lying in bed and felt overwhelmingly happy... and then today, reading a book with my feet up on the deck. Who knew? Who knew that the secret key that might unlock more of my happiness and love potential rested in some simple R&R? Maybe you did, but I sure didn't.... A little work to do tonight, and then 4 more days of fun. Simple bliss... and more love and hugs from my kids in the past two weeks too.... Time will always be priceless.
I've heard people talk about love languages, and I don't know what they technically are... but I am convinced that mine is time. I consider the time that people give to me a gift... and if I am giving you my time, then you can be sure that I you are being loved by me. I hope that my family feels awash in love for the next few days...
Oh, and I read something today in an ice cream shop in Huntsville - "YOGS".... May it inspire you.
"You cannot buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream, and that is almost the same thing."
Looking at my 5 and almost 4 year year old children recently made me realize that those priorities needed to jump up higher on my list of things to do, and so the trailer entered our lives. I have honestly had the two happiest moments that I can recall in recently history in the past two weeks.... Once I was just lying in bed and felt overwhelmingly happy... and then today, reading a book with my feet up on the deck. Who knew? Who knew that the secret key that might unlock more of my happiness and love potential rested in some simple R&R? Maybe you did, but I sure didn't.... A little work to do tonight, and then 4 more days of fun. Simple bliss... and more love and hugs from my kids in the past two weeks too.... Time will always be priceless.
I've heard people talk about love languages, and I don't know what they technically are... but I am convinced that mine is time. I consider the time that people give to me a gift... and if I am giving you my time, then you can be sure that I you are being loved by me. I hope that my family feels awash in love for the next few days...
Oh, and I read something today in an ice cream shop in Huntsville - "YOGS".... May it inspire you.
"You cannot buy happiness, but you can buy ice cream, and that is almost the same thing."
Tuesday, 12 July 2011
July 11
I am crazy tired tonight and really should be going to bed... love for my sleep has never seemed to take precedence over my love of a challenge LOL!!
I spent a few precious hours with my sister last night talking about this exciting topic of living love and reviewing some pretty cool inspirational figures on YouTube... who knew what a wealth of inspiration is on there?!?!?
The Rob Bell clip that I posted the other day was one that we checked out, and I actually found that I got more out of it when I could just listen to him and not watch the visuals... anyway, what a powerful concept that every life and every moment is meaningful. Can you imagine if each of us just spent even 10% more of our time living meaningful love in our lives??? Can you imagine what a different place the world will be. To be honest, I am working on about 1% more love each day to start..
Anyway, my mind just keeps wandering back to the idea of simple things... simple things that we can do to show love to others.
Sadly, I grew up experiencing a religious environment where many people focussed their energy and attention on gaining rewards and favour with God in the afterlife in heaven... The belief, for some, seemed to be that we are really all just unworthy sinners putting in time here on earth until we can one day earn the favour of God, and be rewarded for our faithfulness (by which I really think I just mean going to church every week).... with life of paradise with Him in Heaven when we die.
Some 20 years later, I have now come to a very different belief about heaven and what happens when we die.... and at the end of the day, I no longer believe that living is all about what happens when we die. I think that if we live love every day, here in the heaven that is God's Kingdom on earth, then our afterlife with him just takes care of itself.
I have come to such a strong conviction that this is heaven right here, right now, in this moment, sitting right here on my couch typing these words with my family sleeping upstairs and my neighbours in their beds in their homes around me...THIS IS HEAVEN... right here. Right now. All around me.
I believe that I can create heaven all around me by choosing to live love today. Or I can choose to create hell by choosing a life that is absent of love. I am going to say that one more time, because I think a lot of people might have expected me to say that hell is created when we choose the opposite of love, and some people might think that is hate. I will have to reflect more on what I think the opposite of love is, but right now - I see it as a simple absence - a void - a vacancy. It could also be hate, or malice or cruelty... but far too often, I see hell created here on earth by sheer apathy, lack of concern, ignorance or absence of love. I see starving people and neglected children, and sick people without hope... and most of the people around them turning a blind eye. Where those people sit alone, without love, there is hell. Of course I believe that God loves those people, and he will bring them comfort where they will seek it, but I also believe that he intended the rest of us to be his hands and feet and to bring his love to the neighbours we share our lives with.
My husband and I have been fortunate to share a contented marriage. Of course we've had our ups and downs, but at the end, I believe that our strength has come from the conviction that we will always be OK as long as we are taking care of one another. As long as we continue to live love towards one another. And sometimes, that is a deliberate choice....
Do I live love? Who do I take care of? Who is taking care of me? Do we mostly take care of ourselves and our own little family? Who is in our family's circle of love and care?
These are questions I find myself asking... and in the busyness of my life, I fear that my circle of care has shrunk over time. I would like to expand it. To whom much is given, much is expected... and that only seems right.
I spent a few precious hours with my sister last night talking about this exciting topic of living love and reviewing some pretty cool inspirational figures on YouTube... who knew what a wealth of inspiration is on there?!?!?
The Rob Bell clip that I posted the other day was one that we checked out, and I actually found that I got more out of it when I could just listen to him and not watch the visuals... anyway, what a powerful concept that every life and every moment is meaningful. Can you imagine if each of us just spent even 10% more of our time living meaningful love in our lives??? Can you imagine what a different place the world will be. To be honest, I am working on about 1% more love each day to start..
Anyway, my mind just keeps wandering back to the idea of simple things... simple things that we can do to show love to others.
Sadly, I grew up experiencing a religious environment where many people focussed their energy and attention on gaining rewards and favour with God in the afterlife in heaven... The belief, for some, seemed to be that we are really all just unworthy sinners putting in time here on earth until we can one day earn the favour of God, and be rewarded for our faithfulness (by which I really think I just mean going to church every week).... with life of paradise with Him in Heaven when we die.
Some 20 years later, I have now come to a very different belief about heaven and what happens when we die.... and at the end of the day, I no longer believe that living is all about what happens when we die. I think that if we live love every day, here in the heaven that is God's Kingdom on earth, then our afterlife with him just takes care of itself.
I have come to such a strong conviction that this is heaven right here, right now, in this moment, sitting right here on my couch typing these words with my family sleeping upstairs and my neighbours in their beds in their homes around me...THIS IS HEAVEN... right here. Right now. All around me.
I believe that I can create heaven all around me by choosing to live love today. Or I can choose to create hell by choosing a life that is absent of love. I am going to say that one more time, because I think a lot of people might have expected me to say that hell is created when we choose the opposite of love, and some people might think that is hate. I will have to reflect more on what I think the opposite of love is, but right now - I see it as a simple absence - a void - a vacancy. It could also be hate, or malice or cruelty... but far too often, I see hell created here on earth by sheer apathy, lack of concern, ignorance or absence of love. I see starving people and neglected children, and sick people without hope... and most of the people around them turning a blind eye. Where those people sit alone, without love, there is hell. Of course I believe that God loves those people, and he will bring them comfort where they will seek it, but I also believe that he intended the rest of us to be his hands and feet and to bring his love to the neighbours we share our lives with.
My husband and I have been fortunate to share a contented marriage. Of course we've had our ups and downs, but at the end, I believe that our strength has come from the conviction that we will always be OK as long as we are taking care of one another. As long as we continue to live love towards one another. And sometimes, that is a deliberate choice....
Do I live love? Who do I take care of? Who is taking care of me? Do we mostly take care of ourselves and our own little family? Who is in our family's circle of love and care?
These are questions I find myself asking... and in the busyness of my life, I fear that my circle of care has shrunk over time. I would like to expand it. To whom much is given, much is expected... and that only seems right.
Sunday, 10 July 2011
July 10
Wow "Cookin" you have given me some things to think about. It is easy to forget how privileged we are here in Canada, and to honestly reflect on how little I have given to others, compared to what I have.
Someone else recently commented to me how rare selflessness is.
Tonight I am just tired to be honest, and these deep thoughts are hurting my brain! Maybe I just resist them because I know that to really embrace them would force me to make some changes....
But, at the end of the day, that is what this journey is all about.
Keep posting!!
Someone else recently commented to me how rare selflessness is.
Tonight I am just tired to be honest, and these deep thoughts are hurting my brain! Maybe I just resist them because I know that to really embrace them would force me to make some changes....
But, at the end of the day, that is what this journey is all about.
Keep posting!!
Tuesday, 5 July 2011
July 5
WOW! Today is July 5th already... time does fly... and I think that is the biggest challenge for me in remembering to live love. Time just seems to go by so fast, and there is so much to do, it is easy sometimes to forget how small acts of love... and an attitude of love can make a big difference. Like this morning, I was feeling rushed to get things moving, but my daughter was being really pokey about getting her hair combed up into ponytails... it would have been so easy to ram that brush through her hair and tug the ponytails up into place, and make her day start off wrong too... so glad I remembered to live love and took my time. Already, I am noticing that living love is helping me to slow down, be more patient, and more caring towards others. It is forcing me to step outside of my own head, my own inner world, and to think outside of myself.
This past weekend we celebrated Canada Day by spending a weekend camping up at a small lake north of Huntsville. It was lovely. And it made me think of a whole new area of love that I had never really considered before... and that was love for my country... my nation... and on another level, for my environment. I couldn't help but wonder, in our every increasing global culture, what will happen to patriotism and nationalism? While I firmly believe that globalization has some wonderful things to contribute to our daily lives.... It made me wonder... how do we make choices that demonstrate our love for our own communities, and also for others all around the world? How big can love grow?? Can we really learn to love the whole world? I'm sure it starts by learning to love our neighbour next door. Even when your neighbours have door mats that say "Go Away"....
Ideally, by creating a community that lives love, we will have a reaching impact around the world... cool!! Think of the stone thrown into a pond and the ripples that spread to the outer edges of the water...I wonder what ripples this stone will create.
Living love one day at a time....
This past weekend we celebrated Canada Day by spending a weekend camping up at a small lake north of Huntsville. It was lovely. And it made me think of a whole new area of love that I had never really considered before... and that was love for my country... my nation... and on another level, for my environment. I couldn't help but wonder, in our every increasing global culture, what will happen to patriotism and nationalism? While I firmly believe that globalization has some wonderful things to contribute to our daily lives.... It made me wonder... how do we make choices that demonstrate our love for our own communities, and also for others all around the world? How big can love grow?? Can we really learn to love the whole world? I'm sure it starts by learning to love our neighbour next door. Even when your neighbours have door mats that say "Go Away"....
Ideally, by creating a community that lives love, we will have a reaching impact around the world... cool!! Think of the stone thrown into a pond and the ripples that spread to the outer edges of the water...I wonder what ripples this stone will create.
Living love one day at a time....
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