I wish I was more regular at this, because it is highly therapeutic. Truth is I've been busy, and more than a little overwhelmed at times with life. There is a lot of readjusting to do... apparently, engaging in a "life makeover" is easier said than done.
I'm here tonight, because tonight I was hitting a low... and had to dig deep and find my direction... and here it is... this mission to live love.
And that's not as easy as it sounds either.
And more and more, I am convinced that love is like a fire... it needs fuel to burn. But my fuel stores have been running low...
So, to start recharging, I'll have to sleep more, take better care of myself, and start reminding myself of my gratitude list.....
And remember my direction.
And when I am frustrated, or out of patience, or telling myself ugly things... I will take a deep breath and ask for the strength to live love.
Aloha,
Emily
Thursday, 1 November 2012
Sunday, 9 September 2012
September 9th
I was fretting a little just now, as I baked chocolate chip cookies (terrible how little my mind settles....).
I was wondering about my children's futures...what lies ahead for them? who will they become? what will their place be in this world? .... and an old fear reared it's head - that fear that asks if I became all that my parents wanted me to be...
And I suddenly assumed that all children both disappoint and delight their parents.... I'm sure that no child becomes everything that their parents wished for them, and yet, I wondered.... would I be open enough to see all that IS that I never imagined?
And God spoke to me... and told me not to worry because these are not MY children, but HIS... That I should never worry about sending my children into the world, because that is what they were made for.. that every child is His gift to the world... that He sends every child into the world to be a beautiful and wonderful part of his Creation.
They are mine to LOVE, and to cherish... to ground... to give a home... and then send them out to become all that HE created them to be.
I'll maybe sign off now to shed a few tears and take my cookies out of the oven.
Aloha,
Emily
I was wondering about my children's futures...what lies ahead for them? who will they become? what will their place be in this world? .... and an old fear reared it's head - that fear that asks if I became all that my parents wanted me to be...
And I suddenly assumed that all children both disappoint and delight their parents.... I'm sure that no child becomes everything that their parents wished for them, and yet, I wondered.... would I be open enough to see all that IS that I never imagined?
And God spoke to me... and told me not to worry because these are not MY children, but HIS... That I should never worry about sending my children into the world, because that is what they were made for.. that every child is His gift to the world... that He sends every child into the world to be a beautiful and wonderful part of his Creation.
They are mine to LOVE, and to cherish... to ground... to give a home... and then send them out to become all that HE created them to be.
I'll maybe sign off now to shed a few tears and take my cookies out of the oven.
Aloha,
Emily
Friday, 7 September 2012
September 7th
A little update.
I'm all over the map emotionally tonight, so not sure what I am going to write about, but here I am.
Sometime early in the new year, I put it out to the Universe that I thought it was time for a life makeover. Little did I know how seriously the Universe felt that was true. Many things have turned upside down for me in that time. Right now, it's so challenging to move forward with all the changes in front of me that it's just plain hard.
Having said that, I am learning that everything happens for a reason, according to God's divine plan for my life. AND that what I may have in mind could be greatly insignificant compared to what He has in mind.
About 2 years ago, I created a dream board. The other night when I was packing, I pulled it off the wall of my office and I think my jaw literally dropped. There, staring me in the face, were things that I had visualized that had come true.
One of those things, was a picture of Cheryl Richardson. I chose her photo out of a magazine - not with any real relevance to her at all actually - but just because she inspired me to be the sort of person who makes a difference in other people's lives.
Little did I know that she would be making a difference in my life throughout all of this. Reading her book, "The Unmistakable Touch of Grace" has been a grounding experience throughout all of this.
And despite the ups and downs of my "life makeover", it has been a constant reminder of what is most important in life.... living love.
Much has changed in my life, but the love in my life has only grown. In some new and unexpected ways even. I celebrate my 12th anniversary with my husband this weekend - and am so blessed for all that we have to celebrate together.
Someone wise once told me that no matter how difficult the decisions you have to make... no matter how emotional things are... or how lost you feel.... stay true to your values and you will find the right way.
Aloha,
Emily
I'm all over the map emotionally tonight, so not sure what I am going to write about, but here I am.
Sometime early in the new year, I put it out to the Universe that I thought it was time for a life makeover. Little did I know how seriously the Universe felt that was true. Many things have turned upside down for me in that time. Right now, it's so challenging to move forward with all the changes in front of me that it's just plain hard.
Having said that, I am learning that everything happens for a reason, according to God's divine plan for my life. AND that what I may have in mind could be greatly insignificant compared to what He has in mind.
About 2 years ago, I created a dream board. The other night when I was packing, I pulled it off the wall of my office and I think my jaw literally dropped. There, staring me in the face, were things that I had visualized that had come true.
One of those things, was a picture of Cheryl Richardson. I chose her photo out of a magazine - not with any real relevance to her at all actually - but just because she inspired me to be the sort of person who makes a difference in other people's lives.
Little did I know that she would be making a difference in my life throughout all of this. Reading her book, "The Unmistakable Touch of Grace" has been a grounding experience throughout all of this.
And despite the ups and downs of my "life makeover", it has been a constant reminder of what is most important in life.... living love.
Much has changed in my life, but the love in my life has only grown. In some new and unexpected ways even. I celebrate my 12th anniversary with my husband this weekend - and am so blessed for all that we have to celebrate together.
Someone wise once told me that no matter how difficult the decisions you have to make... no matter how emotional things are... or how lost you feel.... stay true to your values and you will find the right way.
Aloha,
Emily
Sunday, 24 June 2012
June 24
Another month has gone by... and I've been busy. I've shared with some people already that I am in the process of a life makeover. They always ask - what do you mean a "life makeover"...
It means that I am evaluating what is most important to me - my core goals and values - and then making some changes to align the various elements of my life with these.
As she has often done over the years, Cheryl Richardson is helping guide me through this process, through her newest book, "The Unmistakable Touch of Grace", which I would recommend as a must-read for anyone interested in the bigger picture of their lives. I especially loved one quote that I read recently: "Lesson 3: Surrender to the dance - our source of suffering is always related to our resistance to what is - After enough pain and suffering, you'll eventually get the message: If you don't learn to surrender your will, you will surrender your peace".
And I wanted to share this...
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/drew_dudley_everyday_leadership.html
I'm a little scattered right now... so much on my mind and I am quite tired. There are huge changes in my life, but I am grateful that I am guided by my valuing of living love to help get me through it all.
Aloha,
Emily
It means that I am evaluating what is most important to me - my core goals and values - and then making some changes to align the various elements of my life with these.
As she has often done over the years, Cheryl Richardson is helping guide me through this process, through her newest book, "The Unmistakable Touch of Grace", which I would recommend as a must-read for anyone interested in the bigger picture of their lives. I especially loved one quote that I read recently: "Lesson 3: Surrender to the dance - our source of suffering is always related to our resistance to what is - After enough pain and suffering, you'll eventually get the message: If you don't learn to surrender your will, you will surrender your peace".
And I wanted to share this...
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/drew_dudley_everyday_leadership.html
I'm a little scattered right now... so much on my mind and I am quite tired. There are huge changes in my life, but I am grateful that I am guided by my valuing of living love to help get me through it all.
Aloha,
Emily
Wednesday, 23 May 2012
May 23
It's been a while. I know. I've been doing some new things and making some big choices. My mind has been in a lot of places and trying to sort some things out. I'm glad I'm on this journey, and am finding that living love is a great way to grow courage. A friend of mine posted this, and it really inspired me:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmMFIganRQY
I've also been watching the "Dog Whisperer" and am learning a lot about being a calm, assertive pack leader. Not only for my new canine friend - but in many other areas of my life as well. I have always seen myself as a leader, but often a reluctant one. That fear of rejection, or making mistakes, or somehow being viewed in a negative light holds me back....
But perhaps having 20 seconds of insane courage will help me to be the leader I need to be for my family... for myself.... and to grow in love and life.
Aloha,
Emily
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmMFIganRQY
I've also been watching the "Dog Whisperer" and am learning a lot about being a calm, assertive pack leader. Not only for my new canine friend - but in many other areas of my life as well. I have always seen myself as a leader, but often a reluctant one. That fear of rejection, or making mistakes, or somehow being viewed in a negative light holds me back....
But perhaps having 20 seconds of insane courage will help me to be the leader I need to be for my family... for myself.... and to grow in love and life.
Aloha,
Emily
Tuesday, 1 May 2012
May 1st
So, I got a dog.... it may seem crazy (and it is), but I really felt like I just needed a little more love in my life - to give and receive with a furry friend.
My furry friend, Santera, is a special animal. She should be dead - in fact, she should have died at least twice... but some human angels have been looking out for her... She has a story so amazing that I've stopped telling it because people always look at me like I can't possibly be telling the truth... :)
She is also special because she is a therapy dog of sorts for me. She is helping me to get out of a self-defeating rut. Because of Santera, I now get straight out of bed every morning 1 1/2 hours earlier than usual.... I pull on my coat and my mitts... and we go for a walk. I had forgotten how beautiful the world is at dawn. So, I am developing healthier routines, so that my whole life will be healthier.
Sometimes big goals require big changes to achieve.
We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal, and then leap in the dark to our success.
Henry David Thoreau
It sure is dark when I wake up now... but the most amazing thing happens as we get started.... it grows lighter....
Aloha,
Emily
My furry friend, Santera, is a special animal. She should be dead - in fact, she should have died at least twice... but some human angels have been looking out for her... She has a story so amazing that I've stopped telling it because people always look at me like I can't possibly be telling the truth... :)
She is also special because she is a therapy dog of sorts for me. She is helping me to get out of a self-defeating rut. Because of Santera, I now get straight out of bed every morning 1 1/2 hours earlier than usual.... I pull on my coat and my mitts... and we go for a walk. I had forgotten how beautiful the world is at dawn. So, I am developing healthier routines, so that my whole life will be healthier.
Sometimes big goals require big changes to achieve.
We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal, and then leap in the dark to our success.
Henry David Thoreau
It sure is dark when I wake up now... but the most amazing thing happens as we get started.... it grows lighter....
Aloha,
Emily
Tuesday, 24 April 2012
April 24
Something rather remarkable happened today....
My inner child came out to play...
I didn't know she even still existed...
And yet, there she was.
As our yoga practice began this evening, my instructor offered the intention of remembering to be childlike....
She asked us to think about a child in our lives, and before the images of my own children could even pop up - her little voice called "Hello Emily"... and suddenly she was there.
Later... when she recalled us to think of that child, it was in the context of thinking if the children in our lives need our help or support in any way... again, there were the faces of my own children in my mind... and my intention to live love.... but more than that, there was my inner child.... and my lifelong yearning to be loved.
A tear welled up in my eye.... my inner child is alive and well... and she wants to come out and play, but most of all she wants to be loved.
Oh, the things we learn from children... and from remembering the power of being childlike even as adults....
Aloha and namaste....
Emily
My inner child came out to play...
I didn't know she even still existed...
And yet, there she was.
As our yoga practice began this evening, my instructor offered the intention of remembering to be childlike....
She asked us to think about a child in our lives, and before the images of my own children could even pop up - her little voice called "Hello Emily"... and suddenly she was there.
Later... when she recalled us to think of that child, it was in the context of thinking if the children in our lives need our help or support in any way... again, there were the faces of my own children in my mind... and my intention to live love.... but more than that, there was my inner child.... and my lifelong yearning to be loved.
A tear welled up in my eye.... my inner child is alive and well... and she wants to come out and play, but most of all she wants to be loved.
Oh, the things we learn from children... and from remembering the power of being childlike even as adults....
Aloha and namaste....
Emily
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