August 17

I am going to be brutally honest, and tell you that I am only writing right now because I feel like I must in order to be true to this process.  In truth, I am bone tired and when I start rolling the concept of love around my brain, I come up blank..........................................................................................



I guess that is really why I am writing then................................................................................................

I don't want to be the woman who gave up on my blog... who gave up on my goal... who gave up on living a life that enriches others with love, and is enriched by love....

My friendly Curves lady called me today to say "HI" which I really know means, "You haven't been to our facility in 3 months and we're checking up on you!!!".  It is a good thing that there is no blog lady to call me... because I don't want that phone call.  So, here I am.  Good thing that I can blog buck naked (not really because I am too tired to get out of my lazy chair) from the comfort of my laptop... because there is no way that I am going to squeeze into exercise clothes and sneakers right now. 

I wish I could say that I feel more loving or more loved right now, but I am just not 100% sure that is true.  I giggled at a derogatory comment a while ago just because I was too tired to object to the person on the other end of my phone.... I've been so busy that I haven't taken any time for random acts of kindness.... I've made choices that served people less important than my family or myself, at the expense of my family and myself....I've had more moments than I wanted where I was abrupt, harsh, impatient or careless.

Awareness is, of itself, an important part of the process.

Then, on the other hand, maybe I do feel more loving and loved just by continuing my commitment to this journey, and reaching out to you out there in bloggerworld. 

As my son would say, "Aloha"... which I understand means hello and goodbye at the same time....
Hello fellow community of love gardeners....
Goodbye fatigue, apathy and feeling alone....

Aloha,
Emily