Well this is interesting. I am feeling calm and creative. I actually feel like writing. This is good news. The jam is loosening up and I am coming unstuck.
I want to say that I am feeling more brave and more grounded. I no longer feel afraid of what comes next. What is to come will come, and that is OK.
I have been inspired to start studying and practicing mindfulness and am noticing space starting to free up in my mind and my spirit. One of Brene Brown's 'Dig Deep' challenges from "The Gifts of Imperfection" was to notice when I am feeling vulnerable, and to use this simple affirmation "I'm feeling vulnerable, that's Ok. I'm thankful for...". Brene argued that gratitude is an 'antidote' (my own interpretation) to feelings of vulnerability, and I couldn't agree more. Shifting my gaze from fear and shame to gratitude and connection is helping me to gain my ground again.
Perhaps the only barrier to living love is not knowing that it is already there? Perhaps the mistake I make is thinking that love needs to be created? Perhaps I am somewhat mistaken in my belief that love is a decision - that it is a choice? If God is Love.... and God is the Life in every breath that we take... then is Love the Life Force in every living thing around us? Perhaps the only decision is to embrace what is already right here - ebbing and flowing in every breath that I take? Perhaps it is only because I do not choose to stop and experience it, that Love may feel elusive?
For today, I am breathing and creating...and choosing to see Love in all the places it already exists.
Aloha,
Emily
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